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| So I decided to have dinner with the recently ex-boyfriend last night. I had a moment of loneliness over the long weekend, we had an IM conversation and then bam! i was asking him if he wanted to have dinner this week. Well...I thought that two weeks might be enough time apart. I might be wrong. Or I might have decided to do this out of some selfish desire to see him again, get closure, make sure he's doing ok...
Anyway, it was really nice to see him and completely comfortable. We didn't talk about anything relationship-related and it was nice to catch up with him. There were moments in conversation that made me miss him a lot and then there were moments that made me remember why we couldn't be together. In the end though, it was really nice to get a big tight comfortable hug from someone familiar. Maybe a little selfish...maybe part of healing...
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| Ah. Entering the dating market again after a year and a half. The break up is still fresh so I don't have any need to start actually dating yet, but the idea of what's out there is already making me depressed. It's actually making me more depressed than the break up did, which maybe tells me a little more about the relationship I was in.
What depresses me? The fact that all of the couples that I've met who seem really meant for each other met their significant other in college. Maybe after all those years together people just seem like they're meant for each other? The fact that people's pictures on Friendster are increasingly becoming pictures of brown women in red saris beaming next to their picture perfect, could be in a Hindi film husband. Even those pictures are starting to shift to pictures of the perfect little brown babies that are floating in the overwhelming good genes of their beautiful Indian parents. Yeah. I'm bitter. I don't want to get back out there.
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| How different do two people have to be before they are too different to be compatible?
Should we set our expectations high and refuse to budge from them or be flexible while sacrificing some things that, in the long run, actually are really important to us?
Is it worse to ask someone to change for you or for you to change yourselves for them? | | |
| It's been a long semester. I have the last of my classes for the semester today. I have a final on the 10th and one on the 15th but it's going to be a pain to study for them, considering the fact that I've been in those classes only physically. I really think that this whole system of letting law students know that they have a firm job before their third year even begins is not the smartest way to go. I've had zero motivation to study for anything this semester. I also have next-to-zero excitement for my job next year (even though I am hoping to turn around their supposed "Diversity Committee" that only one person knew about...very suspicious. Poor guys...they won't know what hit them).
But, I'm a little refreshed. I went to my friend's tap dance recital last night and I was motivated to go out and do some of the things that I loved doing, back when I had a soul. She and I actually started taking tap classes together last semester, but I dropped it once the class was done, leaving me with tap shoes that I might not wear again and the ability to tap dance at maybe an 8-year old's level. But the recital had all kinds of dance classes performing: hip hop, belly-dance, jazz, ballet. I think that I'm going to take a belly-dance or hip hop class next semester. The recital was right around the corner from Lincoln Center, right near Julliard, and right across the street from the LaGuardia School of Performing Arts (the school that Fame! is based on). Needless to say, it was a very inspiring setting. I used to love all that stuff. I love watching non-professionals perform, because you know that they're not being paid for it, and a lot of the people were beginners, but you know that they're doing it because they really love it. I found about this program called "Wednesdays at One" at Julliard-- it's a free concert series with Julliard participants. I'm going to start going to it, hopefully once my finals are done. I'm really looking forward to getting some music back into my life. http://www.juilliard.edu/asp/calendar/calendar.asp | | |
| The theme for this month for me is rooting for the underdogs: the Red Sox and John Kerry. Let's hope that Massachusetts has enough in it to carry two come-from-behind victories.
I think that this election is going to give me an ulcer. Here's a cool website http://www.electoral-vote.com/.
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It has a map with red/blue states showing who
is ahead in the electoral college along with
graphs, charts, movies, spreadsheets, and commentary. Everything is updated daily. It tracks the Senate elections too.
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